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Is it me your looking for?

Who is still out there, eh? I'm thinking of coming back to the safety of livejournal, where long winded posts are embraced and there is still a semblance of privacy...
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Hi Livejournal

Add in my typical whine/blahblah about how I mean to update more.

I'm just lazy. Also, I feel more and more like this is less private than before. When I was younger, I would spill every tear of my heart here. Now I don't share them anymore. I'm feeling a bit detached and lost, floating around in my life even though good things are happening. My business is taking off. I've managed to find not just a kitchen, but a fully fitted cafe. It's in an industrial estate, around the corner from the Educate Together school. I see great potential (for making money and of course, making me feel more fulfilled).

Girls are good. I should take more pictures, post more pictures.

Holidays are here already and I don't feel in to them this year. Which is unlike me. I've not planned a thanksgiving dinner, I've not started looking for Christmas presents. It's still very mild (not to say the weather is nice, more to say the weather is indecisive as always in Ireland). This time last year we had snow. Time will tell.

I'm still reading all of your journals, don't fear. I need to comment more.
Although, I see that a lot of you are going the way I am and posting less and less. I won't pretend that facebook doesn't have a little bit to do with that for me.

I'm so busy, in life and in my head that I'm just low on time to sort through my thoughts. I feel like I do update here but all I'm doing is a quick recap and waffling. I'm a bit unhappy, I'm dealing with some assorted things... some realizations. fuck it.
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The Boho Kitchen Reality

Oh Lj. I'm not giving up on you. I'm still reading you. I'm going to be joining some new more applicable communities as well so I have a reason to get on. I need to throw out updates now and again even if they are small.

Quick catch up. Cormac and I went off to Mallorca near Puerto Pollensa (the north part of the island) for 6 days early this month. The girls stayed with Cormac's mum and they were just fine. I was stressed about leaving Harper at least because I couldn't really explain and have her understand that we were going away but coming back. We called every other day and that probably helped. I thought Mallorca was a bit like Ibiza or Lanzarote so I didn't expect much but to my surprise when I started looking for hotels and restaurant reviews I realized the coast line is dramatic and the water is crazy crystal turquoise blue. It was a great break, went to bed at a reasonable hour and had solid sleeps every night. Great trip, one horrible argument the last day was the only downer, but overall fantastic. Came back and the holiday of course was immediately over, back to reality. Really loved it though, sure Corm is already trying to book us back with the kids sometime in the spring. Self catering, however, not a cheap hotel where everyone is a British all-inclusive and they never leave the hotel- we didn't really hang around the hotel.

I've a contract with a new local cafe that sets up inside a chain bookstore around Ireland. So, as a result, I've decided to move the baking business out of the house. It's been stressful lately anyways with my work supplies taking up all the room in the house, the kids and husband not understanding that simply being home doesn't mean I'm not working. I found a kitchen to rent in town, that's fitted with all the equipment I need (in fact, they are bigger and better quality than I expected to get)... and it happens to have a cafe space with it. So, I guess I'm opening a cafe? It's fucking scary and exciting at the same time. I'm hopefully getting a grant from the enterprise board that will half my rent and rates for the first year. The contract with the cafe for sweets and I'll be assembling their sandwiches as well should definitely pay the bills. Its been the rocket to shoot me to what I've really wanted, my own place. I've started making plans in my head for what I can do with the space... just having it open to the local workers and mums dropping kids off at the school around the corner as well as having events in the evening just for tea/coffee/sweets to start. It's big news.

Oh the OTHER hand of all this... my private LJ update next will explain.
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Writer's Block: R.I.P

What do you want done with your body after you die?

I want a natural burial. Pine box, wherever its okay to do it. I want to decompose, be plant-tree-animal food the way the cycle of life is supposed to work. I don't understand the point of keeping my body is an airtight box in hopes that it will stay fresh as long as possible, with my internal organs in a bag and metal plates in my jaws tied together.
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"I would give up the unessential..."

Crystal says I must update, so I must.

I'm outside of myself lately.

I don't know.

Stressed a bit, girls have been intense lately as well. Business is doing fine, we had a large festival here last weekend and while I made profit it seems like I barely saw it before it went
off here, there and everywhere else.

Sometimes I wonder the point of updating this journal. I used to be able to more freely share what I was feeling, how I felt about my life at the time of updating-- but I don't really feel that way anymore. I keep a lot of everything inside, maybe just to get through the day, but inside nonetheless.

I miss America, miss my family... its been nearly 10 months now since I was home to visit them. It doesn't help that the sniff of summer we had here is already over and fall is creeping in. I have a strange feeling that I'm going to find it difficult this winter.

On the brighter side, Jane has started playschool, which means she's gone for 3 hours each morning and she has had some interaction with other kids and seems a little bit more worn out than usual.
Harper has been moody and whiny which I am putting up to the difficult 2's, molars or something or rather. She's cute, that's how they keep us from impaling them on spikes, you know. Just kidding.

Have been trying to get out more with the ladies in my life, its been a while since I've had any girlfriends to go out with in the evening time and forget about being mommy for a little while. Just to engage in adult conversation. Said friends have been great for babysitting now and again, too, which is a new freedom.

I won't say too much, but I might be getting involved with a friend in a new business venture as well. It would mean a premises in Waterford City. I'm hoping that things align themselves and maybe this will be the thing to pull me out of my rut. Since I can't get a second dog, and I'm definitely not having more children.

We are heading off to England on Friday morning to Patricia's wedding in York which is a welcome distraction. I'm looking forward to seeing how she's organized everything and fingers are crossed that no one is stressed out. We'll be back on Monday. We're driving up to schmoomom's Thursday to stay the night with her before flying out... I'll take any excuse to see E that I can! Plus, wine. Speaking of booze... I bought some on sale and Jane managed to knock one of the bottles off the table onto the floor just right and it smash... sigh.

God, this is why I haven't been using Livejournal. I'm boring now. Blah blah blah. Only updating now because I'm surprisingly bored. I should be reading. Children will call soon, though and I'll have to be a boat again. Petting Zeppe the dog seal. Ah, childhood.
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Jehovah Witnesses, yes, this sparks my limited updating frenzy.


Just had my first visit from the Jehovah's! Oh my god. I was so unprepared. They should leave notes like, we are coming at such and such a time, brush up on your anti-bible knowledge. I've actually stopped like, arguing with Christians on the internet, so... I was digging quick for my responses.

I had to stop the dude as he started his speech as he was going on about how we see the horrible things in the world like there is some evil force pushing it all... uggh. He pulled lots of crazy shit out of the bag. Claimed the bible is the oldest text in the world (even tried to tell me it was 6,000 years old), that it all made perfect sense, that religion has blurred it all. Pulled the ol' do you know who made this *front door*, have you seen him, blah blah this some how proves god exists.

I told him this was an atheist house that believed in science. He told me evolution isn't real, its just a theory... I told him gravity is a theory and he retorted that no its a fact... I had to teach him about scientific definitions... it was kind of at that point I was like duuuude stop talking give me the freaking watchtower and go away. In the end I got away with not having to take it! Ha.

I take offense to having these people come door to door with such HORRIBLE misinformation and outright LIES to prove that they are right that less educated people are going to quite possibly buy into. Grr.

He tried also to pull this whole like, hope for living through the modern times stuff. What the hell? Who are these people who live in this la la la world that the times we live in are the worse of times? For fucksake.
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I don't know what to tell Jane when she says she hates sleeping. One day I know I'll be trying to drag her ass out of bed and she won't want to get up. Cruel world, why? Surely our species should have evolved by now to now drive parents to the brink of nearly murdering our young.

I chopped my hair off. I couldn't take it being even medium length anymore. I'm not sure I like it, because I think I want to go a bit shorter with it, but, I'll wait a little while.

It may just be sunny today. Nancy said she'd mind the girls tonight so we are going to go out to dinner this evening, so I'm looking forward to a reason to dress up all purty.

I'm waiting to hear back on my business name registration so I can go and open a business account, as I have oh... nearly €400 worth in cheques to lodge! We need to do the floors in the dining and kitchen as well as the living room. Wood laminate. We've been battling these carpet moths in the living room for months now and if we don't do something about it we are going to go insane.

Breaking Bad season 3 is fantastic.

I promise to do a better update soon, I'm easing back in.
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Soon, my pretties.

I want to get back in touch with my LJ-ness, of course, when I wanted to do this I discovered there was an OUTAGE? AN OUTAGE? double u tee eff.

Anyways, life has been up and down-- Lots of fun mixed with lots of not-fun-horrible stuff. Last Saturday I drove with Cormac to hamachimaki's funeral in Dublin, in support of my beloved friendschmoomom, his wife. It was a terribly difficult week and although we're detached from the ongoings of their day to day life now without B, I'm thinking of her always.

I'm up to my eyes with cakes each week which is not a complaint. Trying not to over extend myself with markets that won't be profitable.

Today, I'm wrecked. Late to bed and up with Jane at 6:15am. Ugh. We had a couple lovely barbeques this week, even though this heat wave they keep promising us every other week has yet to appear.

Jane is 4 now, by the way. She had a pirate princess party, accompanied by a pinata and disco dance party. It was a success, I believe.
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I'm not making false promises

I really have to try to make more time to update. Ah well, I'm busy and such. Usually too tired.

Why is the intro song to Arthur like, some reggae mix up? Meh.

Got some horrible news from a good friends yesterday and my heart is aching for her and her family big time.

On another note, I finally got a car! I did okay with the stall during the Tall Ships Race in Waterford (a 3 day event where people come to look at big sailing ships that pull into the city on the river. A little red 1998 micra in ridiculously amazing condition.
Lolita is her name!

I need to call Crystal and try calling Jimmy again. I'd call Ramona if I thought she'd even answer.

I've slowly gained an unwanted 10 lbs and I'm not sure if its due to meds or not running as much but sure, I'll shake that soon enough.

My little baby is going to be 4 in just over a week. FOUR! Jesus, four years ago I was having Jane. Now she is an incredible little girl full of beans with an amazing imagination, unbelievable vocabulary and a great sense of humour.

Getting really fed up with the Irish summer and if it doesn't make a turn for warmer weather next week I'm going to lose my mind (and so are the kids). We just can't afford to go to Florida this year (not yet anyways) and I'd kill even for a short sun holiday. We'll be going to York in September for Cormac's sister's wedding so maybe it will be lovely and warm there!

I'm getting stressed about money, following the Tall Ships (I thought I'd make more money there) and getting the much needed car I'm broke. I have plenty of things that need to be paid ugh. I've a market this weekend and a two bigger ones the end of the month, but that's just money I owe Cormac from Tall Ships. Gotta get into the Enterprise board this week and see if I can get some funding.

So, that's all. If I updated more often I'd have emotional things to share from day to day but I seem to suck at that for the moment.